Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
