I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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