hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
