either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize