Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
