Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in itâ€
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
