About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
