too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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