Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
