I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i need some magic done to my vagina
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
