he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
