she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
