We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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