She announced her abortion via fbk
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
