He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Are we still banned from the library?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
