Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
