funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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