I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize