Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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