I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
