u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
