i need an iv and a liver transplant
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
