For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
