sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
