Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
