their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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