I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
