it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize