I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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