Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
