tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
