your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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