did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
