I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I touched a dick in church today
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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