Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Floor bacon is actually really good
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
