Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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