I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
