TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He felt like a one man threesome
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
