I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
