Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Someone shit on the floor
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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