I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
