I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
