his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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