It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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