I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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