I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
