Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
