used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
