goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
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