this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
