if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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