I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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