I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
