How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
