Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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