Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
