I accidentally had phone sex last night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
