i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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