We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize