Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
